When you walked down the aisle together, you weren’t thinking of the most common marital problems. You were madly in love, more than ready to spend your life with your partner and willing to do whatever was possible to make that person happy every single day. Yes, you heard all of the advice that married couples had given you, and you remember being told that marriage took a lot of work, and involved both good and tough times. You hoped you and your new spouse would be the model married couple.
Fast forward a few years, maybe you find yourself sleeping alone in a guest room. You rarely talk to your partner, or when you do, it takes everything to avoid a fight. Maybe you’re convinced everything they say is some sort of dig or insult. You argue so regularly that you can’t remember the last time you went a day without some heated exchange. Your sex life is struggling or nonexistent. You lay in bed at night wondering how you ever got to this place, and how you’re ever going to find your way out of it. Marriage problems can be emotionally draining and incredibly lonely.
Recognizing common marital problems
It’s important to remember that the majority of couples go through rough patches and you’re not alone. There’s always support for you and your partner with Wellin5’s team of counselling professionals who help couples across Canada. We’d like to help you recognize 7 of the most common marital problems, and how you and your spouse can get through them in order to move towards a life of happiness together.
1. Money
Of all the common marital problems, it’s no surprise that money is at the root more often than not. Money is essential to funding our lives, and if there isn’t enough to take care of what we need, it creates an incredible amount of stress for everyone involved. Not to mention, if communication isn’t clear when it comes to finances, or either spouse is less than honest about where they’re spending it, serious trust issues can come up that’ll seep into other areas of the marriage.
2. Intimacy
Many married couples feel that their sex lives become less exciting as the years go by. When our intimate encounters become fewer and farther in-between, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt for both partners.
3. Undesirable Friends
Friends can create conflict too. Even though it’s not often talked about in the context of marital issues. If one spouse’s friends don’t get along with the other, it can become a big friction point between partners. This is especially a problem if those friendships start to take precedence over the relationship or the family.
4. Household Division of Labor
Do you feel like you’re handling the majority of the cooking, cleaning, organizing and logistics that are part of every household? Is it something that leads to a lot of conflict between you and your partner? You’re not alone. You’re dealing with another of the most common marital problems out there.
5. Parenting Differences
If you have children, you know that parenting and meeting their needs becomes central to you and your partner’s lives. Everything you do comes back to your children, but that doesn’t mean you and your partner will always agree on parenting styles. You may encounter serious differences in things like discipline, creating and maintaining routines, and countless other aspects of parenting. This can lead to ongoing and heated conflicts.
6. Addiction
If a spouse has a serious addiction problem, it can be a huge source of stress and conflict if it isn’t dealt with properly, and with adequate support. It’s not only the addiction itself that causes marital problems – it’s also the dishonesty, financial issues and other challenges that can be very difficult to overcome.
7. Communication
While we agree to come together as one when we marry, the reality is that married couples are still two separate people. Every person brings their own perspective, experiences, feelings and expressions into the relationship. A lot of the common marital problems listed above can be traced back to basic communication. It takes time for people to learn to communicate effectively, and often, it takes guidance from a professional to understand how to hear each other.
Making marital problems less common
If you’re struggling with your marriage, you are far from alone. Needing support in working through common marital problems is not a mark of shame. Instead, showing the willingness to take this step shows your commitment to a happy and healthy marriage. We all need a little help sometimes, and those who seek it out often end up in a much better position, and in a happier marriage.
How Wellin5 can help
Wellin5 is a resource for married couples. We provide marriage counseling to couples all over Canada, and we do it through an online video platform that’s just as effective as in-person counseling. If you’re tired of fighting the same fights and you’re ready to put those negative feelings of despair and doubt in the past, contact us to schedule an initial consultation. We’re here to help you and your partner meet your goals together.