Couples counselling has a reputation for being a long and gruelling process — but that’s not entirely true. The experience can vary greatly from couple to couple depending on the state of the relationship, and what they’ve decided to work on together. The good news is, there are things couples can do to better prepare before diving into the process, so they can come out the other end feeling heard, connected, and closer.
Fully commit to counselling as a couple
For the best results, both partners need to be committed to the process. Growth can’t happen if one half of the couple is trying to do all the heavy lifting — that unbalanced effort will only lead to stagnant growth and resentment. Instead, have an open conversation before going into couples counselling. Stay open-minded, take time to listen to each other’s concerns about the process, and have an honest discussion. This will help settle any hesitancies between the two of you before meeting with a counsellor.
Set shared goals
Most couples go into counselling for a specific reason. Whether it’s the same conflict coming up over and over again, or a new roadblock you’ve run into together — it’s a clear aspect of the relationship that needs to be improved upon. In other words, it’s a goal. The path to growth is never easy, but goals can help alleviate some of the stress and confusion.
Set time aside to have a conversation to establish your shared goals for therapy. How do you want to grow as a couple? What are some pain points you want to work on together?
If you’re unsure, here are a few common areas to examine:
- Communication
- Conflict styles
- Intimacy
- Money mindset and management
Find a couples counsellor that’s right for you
Not every counsellor is the same. That’s a good thing — different techniques and specialities means there’s a counsellor out there that’s right for every kind of couple. Wellin5 takes the guesswork out of finding a counsellor who’s a good fit for you and your partner’s situation. Our online counselling platform matches you to a registered counsellor who meets your specific needs. So you can remove one less stressor and focus on your relationship.
Prepare to share
This might sound obvious, but couples therapy requires both parties to share openly. This can mean digging into personal experiences, family history, habits, communication styles, and more. Remember: vulnerability isn’t easy. But the growth and closeness that comes from it is well worth it.
Take good care of yourselves
While couples counselling can be hugely beneficial, it can often bring up uncomfortable feelings or old wounds. Don’t panic — this is normal on the path to healing and growth. During this time, be sure to give yourself extra TLC by engaging in self-care that works for you.
Self-care can look and feel different for everyone, so remember, it’s completely fine to do this part as individuals rather than as a couple. But if there’s an activity you both enjoy, go ahead and share it together. Whatever works for you!
Laying the groundwork for couples counselling is key
Going into couples counselling can feel like an unknown situation that requires honesty and vulnerability — being nervous is completely normal! What’s important is giving yourself the credit for putting into the effort, going in with an open mind, and working towards a stronger relationship together.
If you’re ready to improve your relationship, Wellin5 can match you with a counsellor that meets your unique needs in less than 5 minutes! Online counselling is here to support you in a way that’s customized to your relationship, cost-effective, and fits into your busy schedules.